Technology

Hello world. Wouldn't you like to know where I am, and what I'm doing, at any given time. Well, now you can...

Actually, you could have known pretty much anything about my whereabouts before, since I almost always have my phone and jump at any opportunity to answer it, and am an open book to anyone and everyone that wants to engage in conversation...

But, now, you can find me via gps on your smart phone anytime anywhere if you so choose. You can follow my tweets as well. You can send me push messages... We can even video chat... And play scrabble..

Or you could be archaic and just call me... Or maybe text.


Whatever means you choose, I am here... Ready to fulfill your conversational needs.....


Ps.... I am writing this from my iPhone.... While sitting in a computer lab... That's right.. There is a fully functional computer and keyboard sitting right in front of me....

Just think on that a minute

guitar wielding bums

ok,, gotta be quick... it's bedtime..

actually i wanted to write a lengthy blog about this subject,, but oh well...

first off,, i want to add to my last blog.. i went back to that jobsite and checked the port o john... someone called me a "pussy".... i'm amused..


anyhow,, yesterday on the way to church, I saw a man walking with a guitar. his clothes were a little tattered and his beard unkempt. he walked slow but purposefully. almost as if he's made this walk thousands of times. as i drove through the red light, he was setting up shop on the corner, setting his things down and getting ready to play.

as i drove off, I pondered his situation, but within seconds i was back to wondering if i was gonna make it to church on time,, coupled with a wondering of why the worship team thinks they need to meet so dang early on sundays to practice... i mean,, eight o'clock is really pushing it for me.


anyhow,, the man was quickly pushed far far back in the ol' brain,, and i never thought of him again the rest of the afternoon. I left the church and retired on my couch to watch tv and nap for the next few hours.

around five thirty i started getting ready to return to church for the evening service. I don't know which is harder; getting out of bed to get ready to leave, or getting off the couch to get ready to leave.... both are astoundingly complicated processes for me...

anyhow, as i exited beach street and pulled up to the red light, I saw the guitar carrying bum again!!! he was still there!! on the same corner!!!

i couldn't believe it... nearly ten hours later he was still standing in the weather playing his guitar. i mean,, i like playing the guitar,, and i live getting paid to do it even more.. but,,, i've never played for ten hours straight...

either that dude really loves music,, or he really loves drinking...

i guess like most professional musicians,, he also really loves not having a job..

but i think,,, i would rather work than have to stand on a corner and play for ten hours...


anyhow,, at least i got to hear him play this time... wasn't too bad,, he was doin' a blues number.... i gave him a dollar,, he in turn thanked me,, and proceeded to stand by my window and serenade me until the light turned green..


anyhow,, i've just been thinking about that,,, and how i wouldn't mind bums so much if they all tried to put a little effort into getting handouts... and i wonder how much that guy makes in a day... i bet it's pretty substantial,,, i watched him pull in three dollars in the couple minutes i was there...

anyhow,, he may not be contributing to society,, or the paying taxes,,, or taking care of his illegitimate children,, or changing the world..... but he did improve my day.. he reminded me that even though i will probably never be in a "successful" band, or make more than a few hundred dollars a year playing,, or be considered a good musician by anyone other than family members and long time friends; it shouldn't discourage me from playing.... and playing often.. after all,, it's not about where you are or who's listening,, it's about the music,, and the moment... it's about creativity.. and casting inhibition to the wind for a few minutes, while you forget who's watching or what kind of face you might be making, and how much money you owe the bank,, and your douche bag of a boss,, the huge project coming up in your engineering class,, and that girl that's been on your mind,, or the future in general,,, etc etc........


anyhow,, i'll stop with the artsy fartsy stuff,,, long story short,,, dude was out there a long time,,, i bet his fingers were killing him..

smarter than your average construction worker.

on occasion,,, actually i should say regularly,, i am forced to use a port-o-potty at work....

i'm over it though... no big deal... i've actually come to enjoy my trips to the port a john because of the extensive reading the voyage entails...

every single port-a-jon on a construction site has been filled, wall to wall, with pictures of naked ladies, spanish heiroglyphics, and poorly spelled english ramblings....


often there will be some remark about "how dum the fukin mexicans" are... and then there will be an arrow pointing to that remark with a reply "lurn to spell you idiot!"

it's great... never ceases to amaze me.. also there is a lot of bickering about who makes more money, who stole who's job, who's momma is a whore,, etc. etc...

so,, today,, i was in a relatively fresh stall,,, by that i mean that the walls were about only 30% marked up inside...

suddenly, i remembered that i was carrying a sharpie marker in my pocket at the moment because i had been marking lines on the overhead steal before i felt the urge to embark on the mile long hike through a jungle of temporary walls and piles of sheet rock/tools/ladders and whatever else have you, to the restrooms... i'll use that term from now on because i'm tired of typing port-o-potty..

anyhow,, i decided that today was the day... i was gonna write on a restroom wall... possibly for the first time in my life.. as far as i can remember anyway...

so,, i thought long and hard about what i was going to write.. i could criticize people of other races or religions or political parties... or i could write that the superintendent of this particular job does awful things behind closed doors (to put it lightly).... the possibilities were endless...

but then i thought,, you know,, i want to write something that has never been written on a portable restroom before,you know,, be creative,, but what??...


i thought for a moment more,, raised my marker,, and penned:

I HEART (the symbol) STAR TREK


I was so amused with myself that i laughed out loud... mostly because i work with a forty year old geek of a man that loves science fiction,, and i am secretly hoping that he finds himself in that restroom before we leave this job...

but,, smiling to myself,, i figured, what the hell,, why stop there,, and wrote:

NEWT GINGRICH IS THE MAN!!!!!



and then: KURT VONNEGUT WAS HERE.... AND WROTE THIS... 10-28-10....


i suddenly don't hate my job so much... i'm also wondering what other people will write about my entries in the "bathroom log book".... i'm guessing they either won't write anything at all,, cuz they have no idea what i'm talking about,, or who on earth would write that crap... or they'll call me things like "fag white boy" but more than likely misspelled...


so,,, that was the highlight of my day...



i just hope,, that i won't someday be thirty years old, and still have to occasionally wear a bright yellow vest (and hard hat) to work...

Austin City Limits... and whatnot...

acutally,,, i don't even think i have the energy to write about ACL...

it was amazing... i was sick... skin burned... money spent... hotel trashed... bands rocked... i should stop saying that word... and memories made....



anyway,, and i need to tell the tragic barbecue accident story....

i'm too lazy to write anymore.. actually i'm too busy researching important stuff for class... or procrastinating the researching and homework type stuff until the last possible minute.. so that i'm constantly overwhelmed... and rushing to finish...


anyhow.. it's hard to write at the moment because stephen colbert is being exceptionally funny.



ok... ok... about six months ago,, i was working on a project in corinth... the jobsite was close to this parking lot where i happen to know that a certain "trailer park eatery" guy always parks his rolling barbecue shack... it's a well known fact,,, that i LOVE barbecue.. LOVE.... and this guy,, happens to be exceptionally good at what he does...


so.. as the lunch hour grows near,, i mention to my cohort that i know a place,, and we should try it... the cohort agrees to give my portable barbecue palace a whirl,, moments later we jumped in his oversized-douchebag-dodge ram and head south..


upon first glance,, everyone is always taken back by the lifelong project this trailer has become... it's a picturesqe wooden shack looking thing,, with knick knacks and collectibles hanging from every possible spot.. and then the thing is actually pretty small... there's only room for one person to stand inside and every bit of space has been used in someway...

anyway,, my buddy starts asking the guy things like, how long did it take to build? how long has he been doing this? does he travel a lot??? and what not..


the guy tells us all about what he does,, and why he does it.. blah de blah...

jason... my cohort... tells the guy that he has a friend that just finished building his own trailer park eatery (i just learned that term.. pretty proud of it.. turns out,, austin is full of 'em).... but his friend's is a massive rolling crawfish boiler... so the guy seems interested and then says:

i've got one piece of advice for your buddy (the crawfish guy):

ALWAYS RESPECT THE PROPANE... ALWAYS..


so... that seems pretty legit to me.. i find his little tid bit of old man lesson to be quite reasonable.. something that could probably apply to anybody,, regardless of profession...


but then the barbecue guy goes into story mode:

he says, "back in ninety something (i'm paraphrasing) I had just finished my second trailer... it was blah de blah de blah... (whatever,, i can't remember.. it was pretty cool apparently,, whatever was different about that trailer)... anyway,, I was getting ready for a party one afternoon,, and i was cooking two briskets out in the trailer, parked in front of my house.. i put the meat on and lit the fire and then went inside to take a shower and start drinking.. a couple hours later i walked outside to check the brisket... i had just thrown some clothes on to go outside, so i was just wearin' my boots, some cut off wranglers (ridiculously short,, i'm sure),,, a sleeveless button up shirt, unbuttoned,,, and my cowboy hat.... also,, back then i had long curly hair,, but only in the back.. and it was shorter on top.. just like,,, oh whats that guys name,, that achey breaky guy???"

he pauses and looks at us,,, both of our mouths hanging open, i'm sure,, in awe of what he wants us to say... so we do it.. in unison,, "BILLY RAY CYRUS??"...

oh god,, it was great... the guy goes," yeah! billy ray cyrus,,, my hair looked just like his! people used to tell me that all the time.."

i'm sure we were holding laughs back,, but the guy continued, "anyway,, i went out there to check the meat,, and i noticed the temperature gauge wasn't even giving a reading... which is weird because the fire had been burning for a couple hours already... so,, i assumed the fire had been put out somehow, and the gas had kept flowing,, and the trailer had now transformed itself into some elaborate terrorist plot...(he didn't actually say that,, i just thought it up..)

so.. i opened the doors and windows all up,, and turned the valves off, and tried to smell around for gas.. i didn't smell anything.. then i (and don't ask me why) stepped several feet away from the trailer,, and put my hand in the door and struck the flint on my lighter.. (i was holding my breath) but nothing happened... so then i lit the lighter.. nothing... i started waving it around.. nothing.. so i walked in the trailer and lit the lighter again.. nothing... (i mean really?? i just knew something crazy was about to happen... but it doesn't and he keeps going one step further...) so then I walk all over the trailer waving my lighter in the air... nothing... so,, i assumed everything is ok.. there's no gas in the trailer,, and i can start my fire again.. I reach down and open the bottom compartment up to light the grill... i reach my hand in there,, and strike the lighter,,,,,, and,,, (you guessed it,,) BOOOOOOMMMM."


my partner and I sat,,, speechless,, staring at the guy,,,unbeknownst to the mulleted barbecue wizard,, propane is denser than air... it flows on the ground.. and the compartment next to the bottle,, was full of it..


he continues, "yep.. the whole thing blew.."

" I didn't even know what happened.. my girlfriend took me to the hospital.. and you know what saved me?? my beard and hair, and shirt... every part of my body was burned up, except for where my shorts and boots were,,, and what parts of my chest were covered by the unbuttoned sleeveless shirt..... and my face was burned except for where my beard used to be,, all my hair was burned off except for what was underneath my cowboy hat..."

he goes on, "yep,, my legs are all scarred up,, and my arms a little too,, and one strip down my chest... but other than that,, i'm A OK..."

anyhow,, we talked back and forth a little bit about the details of his incident,, and then he gave us food and we drove off....

as soon as we pulled out onto the road,, I asked the cohort, "can you believe,, that we just met a guy,, that had his MULLET,,,, BURNED OFF,, IN A TRAGIC BARBECUING ACCIDENT????"

jason,, the cohort,, laughs and agrees,, it's a pretty f'in crazy story...

and then,, I thought,, not only that,, but, he claims that it was in fact,, the mullet that saved his life.. now is that not the craziest shit you've ever heard???


i guess maybe he should write a thank you note to ol' Billy Ray... let him know just how much he really appreciated the ridiculous amount of influence that billy had on popular culture in the early nineties.... i mean,, it did save his life..


also,, he might be the first person ever to go instantly from a mullet, to a chili bowl...


sidenote: i just remembered,, that the first two cds i ever owned were billy ray cyrus, and garth brooks.... the one with a picture of garth on the cover wearing a black and white checkered shirt.. but it's only four huge checkers.. not a bunch of little ones...

anyhow,, one year for christmas i got a cd player and those two cd's... man,, that was a great christmas... i was really pumped about those cd's.... and i'm pretty sure britt was too....


ah,, the memories....

cibcerrt reviws

ok... all i have to say is,,, the black keys rocked my world.. and then the kings of leon took it into overdrive tonight.


i'm so pumped up right now,, i probably won't go to sleep for another couple of hours...



sidenote: i climbed in bed last night, and saw something move, i jumped up and there was a lizard in the bed with me.... i scared it apparently.. it ran in between the bed and the wall... i tried to find it,, but finally just crawled in and went to sleep...



i've probably been sleeping with a lizard for the past few weeks... maybe i should give it a nickname...



i mean,, i guess we're pretty close,, sleeping together and all..


anyhow,,, the squidbillies are on...

really takes me back,, to like a year ago.

no news...... welcome to aceland,, b#@*%!

It's 12:30am... i just got home from work,, and stole somebody's leftover chicken breast out of the fridge... it was every bit as satisfying as i had imagined....


I just turned on the tv and the jimmy fallon show is on... tina fey is the guest.. I love tina fey. pretty pumped about that...

i met a crazy dude at school yesterday.. he told me that he speech teacher tried to make him read "The Devil Wears Prada"... uninterested,, i replied, "oh ya?,,, what happened?"

he says, "I told her to go to hell!!! I'm not readin' that feminist nazi bullshit!"


I was like, "that's crazy dude" and then he went on to brag about all his white trash tattoos and dip his snuff and say the word UH for an abnormal amount of time between every statement made... i was thinking though,,, how does he know that it's feminist nazi bullshit if he didn't read it?? and while he thinks he communicates sufficiently enough to blow off assignments that his speech teacher gives him,,, i beg to differ... i thought his communication skills were especially poor.. it's a sad situation actually... he had a whole crowd of smokers standing around him gawking at every audacious thing he had to say...


people are crazy..


he deserves a mullet... it's a real shame he doesn't have one.. would have just made that story perfect...


hmmmm..... that reminds me,, i think i was going to write a blog about a guy i met that had his mullet burned off in a tragic barbequing (spelling?) accident... but i can't remember if i already wrote it or not??????


little help???

i was hoping to be able to go see tom petty and zz top tonight... but i had to work... boo... dang responsibilities....

responsibilities is an extremely long word.....


anyway,, i'm going to do some jumping jacks and then go to sleep.....


naked..





p.s... reading back over this,, i'm reminded of just how scatter-brained i've been lately... that's just a little taste of what i live with everyday... try having a voice whisper this sort of random nonsense into your ears all day long...

schizophrenia sans medication

I'm back,,, due to popular demand..

although, I have nothing to write about..

currently I have a sprained ankle on my left foot.. worst one of my life,, the bottom part of my "ankle bone" (I'm no doctor) is black and blue... it sucks..

and on my right foot, the big toe has a huge gash in it.. there was meat hanging off and everything... I karate kicked a boat propeller...


I hate my work boots right now..


in other news,,, school starts next monday... which i'm a little excited about,, but,, that also means summer is over... which I'm not excited about.....

at all.

and it's only 80 something degrees and overcast today.. most people are loving it,, but not me..

I'm wishing it was mid nineties and i was sitting by the pool reading a book... Instead i'm in my apartment,, writing a blog...

Also,, I'm moving this weekend... probably.. to a rent house in North Richland HIlls.. for the first time in my life, I'll have a garage to work out of... I can't wait.. no more dirt floors and stacks of cardboard for me.. I guess I'll even have to buy a creeper.


I'm thinking of taking up the sport of wakeboarding... I already bought a wakeboard actually... oh,, I forgot to mention,, that the recent injuries to my feet were obtained while riding a wakeboard...

but in my defense,, that was the first time I had ridden a wakeboard in about ten years... so,, I can only get better..... and braver..



hmmmmmm.... what else???


I don't know,,, I've got to find something to do before I go crazy... Summer is slipping away,, and I'm sitting in an apartment typing letters to some imaginary audience..



I HATE WINTER....


that phrase has been in the back of my head ALL DAY.


and this one,

"some weasel stole the cork out of my lunch"

1 more on the books

we got our asses kicked tonight..

i had a record high in points... i think eleven...

but also a record high in traveling calls,, blocked shots,, missed free throws.. etc. etc..




i had planned to come home and write a lengthy blog about funerals,, and the like..


but instead i spent the last hour playing guitar.. something i don't do very much anymore,, for some reason..


actually, i even wrote a song.. first one in two years..

so that's neat.. i suppose...




i will leave you with this thought that has been floating around my head the last few days:


I would rather hula hoop naked in front of a hundred people i don't know, than walk into a room full of people I used to know, and shake hands with them.




i wonder what the proper spelling of hula hoop is... hoola?? hula? oh well..

also,, i have decided that when i die,,,, there will be specific instructions on my computer,, or else where.. these instructions will dictate the whole funeral proceedings,, who can talk,, who can't,, who can play songs,, who can't,, who's invited... that's right... the first invitation-only funeral.. that i know of anyway.


actually,, i think that might be the subject of my next post..


one things for sure,, there'll be a lot more jamming going on,, than talking.. my funeral is going to be one huge jam session/song swap type thing..


damnit.. i wish i could just hold the funeral early, so that i could attend...

oh, what a day.

i think i'll set a record for the number of blogs written in one week..


maybe i should come to san angelo more often,,,,, or how about never again.


anyhow,,, after i wrote the blog yesterday,, i went outside and stretched out by the pool with a magazine.. this is about the only enjoyable thing i can find in san angelo... maybe i'll get a nice tan going by the time we finish this job..


anyhow,, i was shortly interrupted to come inside and set up my computer again so that brad can play poker.. however, i'm not terribly annoyed at this point because i've already successfully released the majority of my hostile emotions into the world wide web just an hour before hand.. he played poker right up until the time that we left to go eat. I discovered that the rest of our crew had gone to red lobster. He didn't want to go, and declined to stick his head out the door and ask if i wanted to join them. so,, he tells me i can choose where we eat. We get in his avalanche. I'm driving. As we pull out of the hotel parking lot, his phone rings. It's his wife. He asks what's wrong a few times, and then they start shouting at each other. very uncomfortable situation for me. I don't know the whole story, but from what i can tell, his wife dug through a few of his belongings that he had bundled up from prison, and there were a few letters from someone of the female persuasion,,, other than herself. i immediately learned that she hadn't "faithfully waited" on him,, either...

anyhow,, enough of that.. here i am,, driving around a town i'm not familiar with,, desperately trying to find any sort of restaurant,, and make my escape from the whole situation..

i eventually spot a buffalo wild wings and pull in. He stays outside and finishes the shouting match.. he comes in later, and procedes to tell me about their problems, while i scarf down way too much food,, and he drinks way too much alcohol..

on the way home, he tells me that he wrote a country song once... i'm slightly interested. he says it only has one line.. which is, "i always stop when i see that sign, that says LIQUOR BEER WINE"

not too bad,, actually... we actually saw one of those signs shortly after that.. anyhow,, the ride home was slightly uncomfortable..

back at the hotel, he proceeds to play poker until i'm fast asleep..



i woke up first this morning.. while i'm brushing my teeth, the hotel phone rings..
he rolls over and answers.. I'm not sure who was on the other line,, or what they said,, but he reply was, "Na, I'm just layin' here waitin for my morning boner to go down."

that's exactly what i wanted here first thing this morning.. thanks.

work was physically stressful.. we carried a bunch of panels up stairs... or actually, me and another coworker did,, with a few temporary laborers.. brad carried none..

at lunch, he asks how many we have left.. i told him eleven.. he says, "good,, after yall get the last one up,, we're going back to the hotel,, my feet are hurting"


me and omar glance at each other in dazzling awe.. i can't believe what i've just heard.

at two thirty,, we carried up the last panel.. brad starts putting tools up.. i told him i wasn't ready to go to the hotel yet.. he jokingly says something about coming back and getting me in the morning.. i said ok and went back to work.. then he starts back peddling,, and offers to leave his truck and ride with someone else back to the hotel.. i worked another two hours with omar,, and damn near finished the job..

upon return,, my only thought is,, at least i won't have to walk in the room to find him playing poker,, since my computer requires a password,, which he doesn't know..

but,, on the way to the room,, another coworkers door was open,, i glance in on the way by,, he's in there room playing poker!! on his computer!!...

the only other guy with a computer in our crew,, and he is in there playing poker on it!!!

unbelievable..

but,,, at least i'll have an easy day tomorrow.. maybe about four hours worth of work,, and then a nice little drive home..

i can't wait to leave this town...

that is all.

the sequel to the over zealous security guard

ok,,


now,, on to the rest of my story,,,


so then.. after the security guard incident.. i go home... i see that same song that i was talking about on a cool viral video,,, i'll try and up load it or something later... but i was a little stoked about that... but then,,, i get ready to go and jam with some of my friends...

nothing out of the ordinary here,,, i did the usual routine,,, take a shower,, brush teeth,, deodorant,, you know.. the whole deal..

then i go down stairs,, get in my truck,, and pull out onto the street..


however,,, one block away,, i'm sitting at a red light,, trying to turn right.. this particular red light has a camera which has already busted me twice,,, so i make sure and stop for the whole 3 seconds or whatever it is,, and then turn right,, but immediately i hear a loud clanging noise.. my first thought is that my toolbox fell over in the back of the truck.. but with a glance in the rear view,, i discover that trash is flying up behind me,, and scattering about the road...

hmmm.. that's interesting,,, because i didn't see any trash in the road that i might have run over,,, and there wasn't any trash in,,, or on,,, the back of my truck,, that i knew of..... and to top it off,, i'm hearing a sort of rubbing noise...

so i pull over in the buffalo wild wings parking lot... sheepishly,, i avoid eye contact with all those vehicles that are now passing me,, and moments before had probably hit some of that trash head on..

so,, upon further inspection,, i discover,, that there is a trash can stuck underneath my truck... i'm talking about one of those trash cans that people have in their kitchens,, about a 4 feet tall,, rectangular shaped,, kitchen trash can,,, is wedged underneath my rear axle...

now... i don't recall hitting any trash can.. i certainly didn't see any trash cans in the road..

so i pull it out... it's empty.. i guess all of the previous contents are spread about the access road now.. hmmm...

i'm still puzzled,,, at first i was accusing some punk kids of throwing a trash can under my truck while i wasn't looking,, at the stop light....

but,,, that sounds a little improbable.. so what then...

how long was i dragging that thing.. i didn't hear any noises before that,,, but i keep the stereo so loud,, i could have been dragging it for miles and never knew it...


i don't know... now,,, i'm picturing it... people beside and behind me,, were probably gazing in awe at the crazy guy with a huge neon orange " FINAL NOTICE,, YOU ARE ILLEGALLY PARKED STICKER" stuck to his window,, dragging a trash can down the road,, not giving a shit about the wreckage left behind him....

ah,, what a sight...

so then,, i got back in my truck and left the evidence in the buffalo wild wings parking lot...


on second thought,, i should have thrown it in the back.. we could use an extra trash can at the apartment..

the laquinta inn,, san angelo texas..

well...

hello there...

i'm in a hotel room in san angelo... it's a little out dated... the key cards for the rooms are the kind with random holes punched in them that you have to slide in the door and you hear a clanking sound when it opens... and the tv has a nintendo 64 controller attached to it... at first i was confused,, but then i turned the television on,, and the first menu that came up said, "PUSH 1 TO PLAY NINTENDO 64'S HOTTEST NEW GAMES!!!" .... sweet... i'm pretty sure there hasn't been a nintendo 64 game released in about ten years...


anyhow,, we arrived in this shady hotel last night,, and i had planned on watching a little tv,, and then finishing my two part blog,, and going to sleep..

but,, my boss asked if he could use my computer to check his bank account,,so,, of course,, i set it up for him,, since he's almost computer illiterate,, and let him go... ten minutes later,, he goes,, "uh oh,,, how can i get on facebook without it logging on to your profile?"... so,, i went over there, and showed him how to log out,, and he logged in,, and so forth... that's all fine,,,

but then,,, the bastard proceeded to play online poker until 1:00 in the morning,, and as i was drifting to sleep i could still hear his voice echoing, "yeah, you like that?!,,,, you didn't see that comin did ya'!! or,, oh come on you fuckin punk!! that's cheap!....

till one o'clock in the morning..

granted,,, i don't usually go to sleep early,, but i try to at least be out by 11,,, or 11:30...


and then,,,

we went to work this morning,, it's 103 degrees,,, i hate san angelo..

we have to come back to the hotel at lunch to meet the rest of our crew,, who is just arriving from dallas...

of course they're running late... so we go back to the room to rest for a minute...

as brad (my boss)(fresh out of prison,, by the way) walks in he stops and looks at the desk across the room from me,,, and asks, "did you put your computer away?"... i said,"yes brad,, i did" in a kind of sarcastic tone... and he replies, "well could you get it back out??,,, so i can play some poker??"


HOLY SHIT!!! i can't rightly recall,, but i don't think i saved up my money, and woke up at 5 am the day after thanksgiving,, and rushed to wal mart,, and ran around trying to find where they were keeping the lap tops that were on sale,, and finally discovered via a friend of mine that works there,, that they were hidden behind the photo booth desk,,, which ultimatley ensured my victory,, wherein I rightfully obtained a lap top at an obscenely low price,,, (one of only three at every store),,, so that you,,, BRADLY COWZERT,,, could play online poker!!!

fuck you.

buy a computer if you want to play online poker so bad,,, oh,, and then learn how to use it..



ggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.


ok... i got that out..

i'm ok now...

the overzealous security guard

ok... i'm going to try to be quick...

actually,, all that means is that this will probably be poorly written..

oh well...


it's been an interesting day.. or couple days...


yesterday, i was working at a building in downtown dallas which had no parking specified for construction workers. Which meant you had to fight for spots on the street, or walk long distances to the jobsite.. well,, you know me,,, i'm way to good for any of that,, and since i don't drive a company vehicle, or a white truck with a huge tool box on the back of it,,, i can get away with parking in the hotel parking lot next door,, and no one will ever know..

but,, i also took it a step further,, i parked in one of the spots right up front, with a sign above that read," 1 hour parking"....

i justified my actions, because, being the positive minded employee that i am,,, counted on being done with my work in less than a couple hours.

wrong.

at lunch time i went back to my truck to get my check book,, since i had forgotten my wallet and my phone that day,,, and then hopped in with a coworker and we went to lunch... (side note: nobody takes checks anymore)

we returned from lunch and finished the job in just a couple more hours.. my truck had probably been parked in a 1 hour spot for about 6 hours.. but it was still there,,, so that's all i cared about.

as i'm walking in the general direction of my truck, i notice a security guard approaching from my left,, who seems pretty interested in where i'm going... so,, i continue walking my direction, pretending to pay him no attention, and as if i belong there.. mind you,, i'm obviously a construction worker,, i'm wearing work boots, a white t shirt, and jeans,, and i'm carrying a hard hat with a bundled up orange vest, tape measure, and safety glasses all stuffed inside..

the security guard is on my tail.. he's following me,, and i have a feeling i know why. so,, i veer right... into the parking garage,, away from my truck.. i hear him do the same.. he's about thirty feet behind me.. i spot a trash can,, so i walk up to it and just stand there.. pretending to finish my drink so i can throw it away... i figure he'll walk past.. but he stops also!!! he's holding a can of coke,, and is using my move!!... "oh well" i figure,, i'll call his bluff.. so i just continue to stand there,, as if i have a lot left in my drink... this continues for about thirty awkward seconds,, until he finally tosses his can (which bounces out onto the street,, by the way) and walks off... i wait a few more moments,, so he can get a healthy start in the opposite direction before i turn back towards the truck...

i start to walk in that direction,, but still try to be vague about where i'm going.. i'm not walking directly towards the truck,, but more like i'm walking down the street,, past the truck... and then,, at the last second, i turn and step toward the truck,, and suddenly he's on the move!! he's jogging toward me, yelling, "you can't park there!!"

i give him the blank stare like, "wha?" "why not?".. and he shouts at me,, "are you working at the sterling building?",, to which i reply, "no."... obvious lie.. but in my defense,, i did not know that the name of that building was sterling... in fact i wouldn't have known which building he was talking about had he not glanced in the direction of the building that i happened to be walking from..

he didn't fall for it... the overzealous security guard shook his head at me and said, "YES YOU ARE" and that's all i heard... he kept talking,,, but i opened my door and climbed in and started the truck... if you've ever been in the truck with me,,, then you know,, that as soon as that key is turned the slightest bit, my stereo bellows out at full throttle,, and the immediate environment surrounding the vehicle gets a healthy dose of whatever i happen to be listening to..

he didn't like that at all... here he is still talking into my window,, but all i can hear is this new song i'm into,,, i don't even know who it is,, but they're singing, " Home, I wanna go ho,o, ome, home is whenever i'm with you" all the while i'm staring at him in confusion like i don't know what he's talking about... and then i put it in reverse and back out of there..

as i pull out,, i notice a huge neon orange sticker on my window, that says i'm illegally parked, and my license has been recorded, and i will be towed if the vehicle is not moved shortly... i chuckle,,, but then,, down at the bottom,, is a little hand written message,, something special,, just for me, it seems,,, it reads: I KNOW you are working at the sterling building,,,, and i WILL tow your truck...

isn't that awesome??... i wonder how much time that little guy sunk into hanging out and walking around that building just waiting for someone to get into my truck...

i'm glad i could make his day worthwhile..

now,, i've told the story about twenty times,, because people keep asking me why i have a bright orange sticker on my truck.. which won't come off until i go to walmart and buy a razor blade to scrape it with...

i've been thinking of all the things i could do to antagonize this poor guy now...

like buy a bunch of random stickers, and put them on his hotel at night... with personal hand written messages on them... i could go get his coke can.. and put a sticker on it that says: I KNOW you left this coke can on the ground... but where could i put it??? hmmmm..... or i could rent a room at the hotel,, and then go park int that same spot,, and wait for them to tow me,, and then run out screaming that i have a room at the hotel... but still be wearing my dirty construction uniform... that would be great...

anyhow... this is going to have to be a two part blog... cuz... it's late... and i need some sleep..

hum drum

well....

not much to write about.... july has been a weird month..

i turned 26 years old a couple days ago... that's exciting...


however i have lost ten pounds, due mostly to playing basketball three times a week. my gut is slowly disappearing,,, but suddenly i've realized that, at twenty six years old,,, my ankles and knees have been slowly deteriorating over the last ten years... i can barely walk sometimes... usually the morning after a basketball game...



this even sounds corny in my head: but i'll write it anyhow.

lately i've been thinking..... about my overall demeanor and attitude..

[damnit! i've tried to type this out 3 times already,,, just can't seem to word it right]



ok,,, i just wanted to comment on the strong relationship between my peace of mind,, and a piece of my mind...


for two years,,, roughly,, i can recall being ever ready to give this world and everyone in it a piece of my mind... i've had something to say about everything.. i approve of almost nothing.. nobody does anything right.. despicable..

and,,, as best i can remember,, as long as i've gone on this way,,, i've hardly experienced this phenomena they call peace of mind...


how about that.


so.. how about i sit back,,, relax,,, and maybe shut up... keep my opinions to myself..

and let the magic happen...

for you that have known me too well, for too long.

I'm an asshole... it's a fact. I've acted selfishly, and shown no sympathy for the feelings of others. I've walked through this world, as if i needed no one. I could do everything myself. I've pushed people away that only wanted to love me. I've shown no love nor felt any love. I've done without. I felt as though i didn't need love, because along with love comes problems, complications, negative feelings at times, and heart ache. So I assumed i could do with out either as long as i shun them both. I used people. I am an asshole. there's nothing i can do about all that. It's over. I acted horribly, I criticized people who didn't have the same mindset as myself. I've thought little of them because they were not strong enough to survive in this world. they didn't have what it takes to self motivate. They didn't have what it takes to make things happen for yourself.. to be everything for yourself. To go where you want to go, and do what you want to do. whenever, where ever.

but today,, I want to publicly admit,,, that I AM WRONG. i've been wrong for years. people have tried to tell me otherwise, and i've argued, but now it's been proven to me... i see things through a new light... it seems, I've been a walking, talking contradiction.

for the last few months I've been reminded of the movie "into the wild"... I identified so closely with the main character. He went out into the wilderness alone. He set out on an adventure. self exploration. I envied him. I fully believed that i was capable of the same feat. but about a month ago, i was speaking of the film with a good friend, who didn't love it as much as i did. I protested, and told him my view of things,,,

his reply was, "yeah,, but he never caught on,, that he needed people,, and he died alone, in the woods. with no one around"

at the moment,, his words meant nothing to me.. i left the conversation still believing it was a great movie,, actually i still think it's a great movie,, but for different reasons..

now i love it,, for the message,, that we need people to survive.. nobody can do it alone,, you can try like hell,, but when you finally wear yourself out,, you'll be laying there, all alone.. nobody to talk to.. nobody answering your calls.. nobody. just you,, and your warped fuckin mind... your years of self proclaimed "independence"... your stack of accomplishments.. your metaphorical trophies... your blood, sweat, and tears.. your self...

In recent weeks i've been doing a lot of thinking, and a lot of observing.. I went to washington dc... i watched all the old couples walking around the monuments,, looking at the statues erected to honor history,, history that they no doubt lived through.. they were probably together during the wars of which we were standing in memory of..

then i would observe my dad,,, and his love for people... no matter where we were, he was ready to help somebody,, complete strangers..

always watching it seemed like.. we could be standing side by side,, watching the same scene,, but he would rush over and help... whatever it may have been.. opening a door, helping an old lady up the stairs, making sure someone could see through the crowd, etc, etc.... also he would make conversation with people.. for no reason.. anyone that was in our general vicinity for more than a second.. he was talking to.. I've always been the opposite... i only speak when necessary.. i get whatever information i need out of people, and then i move on... sad existence.

I watch my grandparents... they've been together for so long.. and they still love each other. they still love life. i've always been convinced that that only happens in movies.. nobody stays together.. everybody is miserable. (maybe that comes from going through two different divorces with my mother... i don't know)

i don't know where i'm going with this.... I just want to say... that i'm sorry... to the world.. i want to apologize.. and personally, i want to apologize... there is a few of you,, and one in particular that deserve extreme apologies from me.. I hope you can forgive me,, I hope that i can someday make up for my wrong doings... my horrible attitude towards you, and life in general.. my refusal to let my guard down....


I want to change.. I want to be more like my dad. my grandfather. Men of honor,, and truth.. I want to live hand in hand with the people of this world.. I want to love, and to be loved... I want to help.. I want to forgive. I want to sympathize. I want to believe in people. I want to trust.


This is my promise to the world,,, I will change, I will make a difference.. I will donate time, and money, and physical/ emotional energy... I will put others before myself.... and if at any time, any of you feel that i need be reminded,,, please redirect me back to this blog,, so i can remember my words..



I was afraid before. I was stuck. I refused to listen to reason.....

That will no longer be true.. Please accept my apology..



ps... i'm listening to a live performance by Mark Cohn on NPR... he's playing "walking in memphis".... this song really takes me back.. i can remember singing these lines as loud as possible with my brother and mom,, in the truck when i was about twelve years old.. i've got chills thinking about it.. oh,, the power of music....

i hate frat boys

well,, i just got back from playing basketball... I'm in a summer league, and this was our first game of the season. we lost.. but it was close.... too close.

i couldn't shoot for shit today,, and i got stuffed at least four times,,, so much in fact that i was going up expecting a swat,, so it was throwing my shot off...

colby nearly got in a fight...

i got a technical... for pushing somebody down..

one of the players on the other team was just wearing boxers instead of shorts,,, it really offended us.. not to mention the distraction while guarding him..

the last ten seconds were really intense.. they had the ball and were up by one... they were trying to run the clock out, and we were desperately trying to stop it.. they kept passing around and over us,, and apparantly the refs were being leniant because we were trying to foul to stop the clock but they werent' calling it.. that's when i ran up and pushed the dude down that had the ball... flagrant foul.. he shoots two but misses one. then they get the ball back, but derrick tips it and runs down the court for the last second three,, which misses short... me and another guy fight for the ball, i end up with it and hurl a sideways shot in at the buzzer!!!!!

but the refs called it late... game over.

that stupid son of a bitch was jumping around in his boxers all over the place,, and he immediately ran into our group and started slapping our hands as they were down at our side, screamin "good game!".... oh,, i could kill him....

i'll be thinking about him for a good while..


now i'm back at my house,, eating ramen noodles, and writing this blog...

who's keepin score?

i recently saw a "great aunt" of mine... i guess that's what she is anyway,,, she's an old lady that used to babysit me while my dad was at work... that's all i know,,, and she's at all our family reunions...

anyway,, on with the story.. I saw her at a funeral.. we hugged and she made all the usual comments and asked all the usual questions:

"my your gettin tall!" (i'm 25 yrs old... i haven't grown any in probably 8 yrs)

"where you working?" "where do you live?" "are you still in school?"


you know,,, and then she started talking about when she used to keep me while my dad was working... as usual she brought up how everyday i would make a fort out of couch cushions and a card table and a blanket. and this monstrosity was parked right in front of the tv,,, so i could watch in peace..

and she talked about how i used to play cards with her husband... and then she got off on how smart i was as i kid,,, (i'm not bragging,,, i think i've lost a lot of that)....

anyhow,, what she said next was significant to me.... for one, because i had no recollection of the incident,,, and two, because i think it's amazing,,, and exactly something i would say,,,, then and now... i haven't changed a bit...


she said that, one day, we were sitting on the porch together. she was watching me play with my tonka trucks, or something of that sort. There was a blue jay flying around in the tree in front of us, occasionally stopping for as second and then hopping to another branch. Joanne said to me,,, (joanne is her name by the way),,, anyway, joanne said to me,

"look ryan, there's a blue jay in that tree over there."

I looked up from my toys long enough to catch sight of the thing,,

and told her, "looks like a bird to me",


i don't know why,, but i'm proud of that...

everyone sitting near us laughed at her story,, and i did as well..

why can't more childhood stories be like that,, something i can own up to...

usually they entail me running around in my underwear (if i was even wearing any) with a towel tied around my neck jumping off the couch pretending to be superman and eating hot dog weiners straight out of the refrigerator... and sharing them with the family dog.. (i've always loved dogs)..

anyhow.. thought i would share that.

home again.

ah to be home.. even though it is just a tiny room in an apartment crammed full of guitars and amps and tools... and outdated stereo equipment.. and dirty clothes..

actually i devoted my whole afternoon to laundry today.. but i got side tracked and slept most of it.. anyhow, my laundry is done.

I can't remember my original intention for this blog.... hmmmm.


so,, i guess i'll just ramble on about all the sweet stuff i did in washington d.c.


(that's what you wanted anyway,, right?)


let's see here... i sat down for a little self reflection on George Washington's very own back porch.. which is on a huge hill looking over the potomac river.. very nice.. i wondered what george washington thought about when he was sitting there. i'm sure he wasn't contemplating his class schedule for next semester... or his current living situation, and how to alleviate the current problems without adding financial problems.. or if his cell phone is broken because none of his friends seem to be texting him back..

i also nearly shed a tear at the WWII memorial when some lady and her granddaughter started singing the national anthem and a whole crowd of people stopped what they were doing and sang along.. myself included...

I went to The Arlington National Cemetery,, where i saw the kennedy's graves.. and also the grave of a soldier of the revolutionary war... that was pretty crazy.. and about a million other graves too.. and i saw a horse drawn hurst,, with a fallen soldier in a casket on the back of it.. pretty sobering..



i went to the holocaust museum.. not enough space to write about that... except, i will say that, all of the nazi suits i saw were tiny,, i don't know if people were just tiny back then,, or if it's just germans...



I stood at the foot of abraham lincoln and stared him right in the face.. one thing i noticed about ol' abe lincoln.... he was wearin some big fuckin' cowboy boots..


while walking up the steps to the abraham lincoln memorial i said aloud, "and this is where forest gump gave his famous speech." and turned around to my family acting like a tour guide... a few people laughed... i was satisfied...



in a similar fashion,, while at the capital building, i noticed a wax statue thing of a man from apollo 11... the famous lunar mission.. he was in his space suit... and people were taking pictures in front of him so i couldn't see his name or birth/death date... so when my brother asked who that was,, i replied, (loudly)"That's a statue of Tom Hanks"... "you know,, from that movie".. and we kept walking.... i thought it was classic....


while on the supreme court tour a lady asked if they have murder cases there.. the guide explained to her that most of the cases heard by the supreme court were appeals that deal with the constitutionality of laws... the very next lady,, i mean the VERY next,,, asked, "do y'all ever have celebrity cases here?"!!!!! good god!!!... i was appalled.. these were grown women, mind you.. i wanted to ask the guide if she ever got to shake paris hilton's hand.. or michael jackson's...

anyhow... over and out..

oh,, and i feel the need to say this:

THIS BLOG IS NO WAY, SHAPE, OR FORM, ABOUT DUSTY PURVIS... HE WAS NOT IN WASHINGTON D.C. NOR HAS HE EVER SEEN NANCY PELOSI.. AND HE PROBABLY WON'T EVER GET TO.. WHICH MIGHT BE A GOOD THING.. BUT JUST TO REITERATE, DUSTY PURVIS WAS NEVER MENTIONED BY NAME OR PSEUDONYM IN THIS BLOG, NOR DID I USE ANY OTHER MEANS OF TRICKERY, IN WHICH TO FALSELY INCRIMINATE HIM BY MEANS OF ALERTING HIS GIRLFRIEND'S EVER INTUITIVE MENTAL RADAR FOR DETECTING SHADY BEHAVIOR ON OUR PART..

DUSTY PURVIS DID NOT HAVE SEXUAL RELATIONS WITH NANCY PELOSI.


AMY.

blogasaurusrex

Wow!! nearly a whole month since i last wrote...

it's been super busy,, i feel like we should have been playing "Where in the World is Ryan Hagood" for the last few weeks.. nobody would have won.. I think i've slept a grand total of three whole nights in my own bed this month... the rest have been in Indianapolis, Eastland, San Angelo, and now Arlington Virginia..... which is about 2 miles from Washington D.C.


Washington D.C. is AMAZING by the way... for real.. I thought i would be half interested for the most part.. but i was wrong.. i've seen so much stuff here it's system overload.. the only downfall is that I am forced to get up at six am and board a tour bus every day of my vacation... lame... and stand in lines a lot...

I saw nancy pelosi... just a little side note there... and her entourage.. about ten people all talking on cell phones or tweeting or making sure people like me didn't bump shoulders with her.. all the while she was giving her little parade wave to us normal folk as she walked out of the house chamber...

i also got to sit in the balcony of the house chamber and watch our congress at work.. it was pretty weird actually.. nobody was doing anything.. they were all walking around socializing and then one guy would speak into a microphone and say the cause number that they were about to vote for, and they would all vote electronically from their personal desks and their votes would go up on the projecter.. all the while everyone was still socializing and tweeting and ordering lunch.... crazy stuff.



i have so much other stuff to write about... when will it all happen...

oh yeah,, before i go..

the white house was a total freak show.. there was one guy quoting bible verses into a megaphone in slam poetry style... really freaky.. another guy dancing while he sang into his megaphone..

but one old lady in particular. she had a whole little campsite set up across the street. complete with tent, umbrella, large signs, pictures, the works.. she was an old palestinian lady,,, the cops told me that she had been sitting in the same place since 1981.. if she were to leave the cops could take her campsite and she would have to obtain a permit to set up there, but since she was doing this exhibit before any law existed, she remains untouched... if she does leave someone else has to take her place momentarily until she gets back.. anyhow,, all her signs were protesting nuclear wars, and had pictures of people with injuries resulting from nuclear bombs... she was calling for us to stop sending money to israel, who is attacking palestine... all of which i know almost nothing about... what i do know for a FACT is,,, that it appeared as if a bomb went off in her mouth... she had about 3 interlocking teeth... all of which were about an inch and a half long... gross.. and she was wearing sandles... and on her right foot, her middle toe was on top of her big toe... i mean all the way on top of it... i couldn't believe it...

to make matters worse my step mom asked if she believed in Jesus.... you can imagine the bomb that went off in that court yard then.. she got all riled up and started saying Jesus wasn't divine because the Jews were able to kill him,, and that christians say that homosexuality is an abomination but still allow them to marry, and that we allow the jews in israel to blow up palestinians... whatever.,.. then a jew walked up... and he seemed irritated and started shouting that she didn't know what she was talking about,, and that the palestinians started the whole matter... i don't know...

it was quite entertaining,, and nothing was solved... i'm still in my hotel lobby being a christian... she's still sitting on the sidewalk,, with a full view of the white house mind you,, hating america... and christians... and her own teeth, i'm sure... she must not have a mirror in that tent... and the jew is in his hotel room,,, i'm not sure what he's doing... he probably is upset with the fact that the most fervent and vocal people in this world have almost no ability to reason...

also i'm pretty sure she wasn't doing a whole lot of researching in that tent over the last thirty years... but i could be wrong.

i heard a quote one time,,, and i don't remember it,,, but i think it was something like: An intelligent mind can entertain an idea without accepting it...

i kinda liked it...


anyhow... i'm out.... also i used the word fervent,, and i have no idea what it means... oh well...

a little of the old, in out, in out....

never thought i would use a clock work orange reference... interesting...


anyhow,, a few short notes here,,, I recently watched a documentary about the life of Hunter S. Thompson, entitled "Gonzo",,,,, and was TOTALLY INSPIRED BY IT!!!!!!!!

dude was awesome,, i've already begun sporting my aviators indoors,, to pay respects to a man, whose talent i somehow failed to acknowledge while still alive.. shame isn't it...

i have a vision of myself this summer,, seeking out all of his work that i can get my hands on and totally obsessing over the whole matter... i can't wait.... in the mean time, i stumbled across a fellow vonnegut fan, who coincidentally owned several of his books that i haven't read yet,,so i borrowed one and went on my merry way.... got my first book of the summer... score.

I had been looking forward to my summer readings for a while now,, text books get pretty boring...

in other news,,, my brother and his girlfriend are at the hospital right now,, having their baby... well,, not yet.. i don't understand everything that's going on,, but they're at the hospital.. and she's having contractions,,, and before you start calling me an asshole,, i DID go up there... but they said it would probably be 1 AM before the whole birthing process begins,, and i have to work tomorrow,,, so,,, i'll go tomorrow.

anyhow,, i'm sitting here in my house.. apartment,, if you wanna be a dick about it.... i'm sitting here,, all alone.. peace and quiet.. on my recliner.. britt's recliner rather,,, (he got all the cool shit when mom moved),,, there's nothing on, no tv, no radio, just the gentle soothing sounds of the a/c running.. and a slight hum coming from the fluorescent light in kitchen.. and the compressor running in the refrigerator.. but other than that stuff, nothing at all,, weird,,, how i would never notice any of those things otherwise...

so, i'm sitting here,, not doing anything,, except writing this blog, of course, (is ofcourse one or two words?)(jeez, i'm losing my mind), and relaxing in this moment of complete stillness,, because i know,, without a doubt,, that this will be the last moment of it's kind,,,, for a while,,,, at least in my own house... starting tomorrow,, there's going to be a baby here,, i'm going to be an uncle,, my brother is going to be a dad. (those words felt very heavy to me.. seemed as if i slammed the keyboard with slightly more energy while typing them,, i had to force my way through it..) britt, is a dad.... amazing.

i'm talking about the guy that once blew a french fry out of his nose while we were jumping on the trampoline... (we spent years of our life on that thing) the guy, that i used to fist fight every morning while waiting for the bus. the guy that watched saved by the bell and star trek with me every day after school,, and the ninja turtles every saturday,, and would watch karate movies with me all day long, only to go outside and kick each others asses with all the sweet moves we just learned, immediately afterwards... in fact,, i remember the day that we got our first computer in the house and had the internet (dial up!) installed.. i think i was about 13 and he was 12.. they got us to a search engine and asked what we wanted to look up,, his answer: Steven Seagal,, he really loved that dude... the first thing he ever researched on this world wide web, that we'd heard so much about, but didn't at all understand,,, was steven seagal.

the guy, that has gone through this life with me,, every step of the way,, we're so close in age, that i don't ever remember a time when he wasn't there.. we might as well be the same age as far as i'm concerned.. for 25 years, now,, i've seen him nearly every day.. there were only a couple of periods in this lifetime that we didn't live in the same house, or at least the same town, or even work at the same place. albeit,, i've taken it for granted,, and we've despised the sight of each other at times,, and said some awful things,,,and i once threw a rake at him, and also poked him right in the eye with a pool stick,, actually that was pretty awesome,, he even had blue chalk on his eyeball (good aim, huh?).... but he forgave me for all that..

also,, to be a little more serious,, the guy, that never really had a dad... is going to be a dad.. and i'm sure he'll be a damned good one at that.

**(so there,, (britt),(and nikki), i said it,, all,,,, don't expect anything else out of me..)**




so, to sum it up.,, for the next week,, my house is going to full of people,, my mother,, nikki's (my brother's lady friend)(the pregnant one)'s mother, as well as her grandmother are already here,, and there's plenty more coming.. my house will not be my home for the next week or so. i suppose the situation will be better after a few weeks, when everything calms down, and the people leave,,, but my living situation here will never be quite as it were... no recovery in sight... my ever so comfortable life style will soon be devastated...



starting tomorrow.


good night everyone.

concert review numero uno.

whew... it's 8:00 am.... and all i can think about is cheese burgers.. and mustard.... and pickles



not really.. i'm sitting at the shop, waiting on my esteemed colleague to arrive.. he, no doubt, slept through his alarm again,, and likely won't be here until around nine thirty.. if there was a couch around here that was longer than four feet,,, i might take a little nap... otherwise it's computer games and stale donuts for the next hour and a half....

i had this whole idea a few weeks ago where i was going to start subjecting my readers to concert reviews... every concert i go to... and the first one was jeff beck.. which i attended earlier this month.. i had about three pages worth of material to write about the show... but it's all gone now.. i will say that the man has more control over his guitar than possibly anyone i've ever seen.. and he played an amazing version of "somewhere over the rainbow"... that was in no way, shape, or form considered gay by anyone in attendance... also,, i fell in love that night,,, with his bass player.. Rhonda Smith... amazing.. AMAZING... at first i was disappointed because i was expecting Tal Wilkenfeld to be there... (coincidentally, the young white female bass player that i've been in love with for the past two years.....) sorry tal,,, you've been replaced.. Rhonda's the only woman for me now... actually,, it was short-lived... about 20 youtube videos into my obsession and it's all but over... I'm still head over heels for Aubrey Plaza though... I think it's because of the lack of videos out there for her..... she's left me hungry for more... a smart tactic....

anyway,, the concert was great.. to top it off, i went to the bathroom (finally,, nearly urinated on myself) and as i was washing my hands, my uncle walked in!! weird... I hardly ever see this uncle,,, the last time i saw him he had come to a place i was playing at and struck up a conversation with the drunkest dude in the bar... they stood there babbling in each other's faces for at least 2 hours... the time before that i was at the dallas guitar festival watching the "all star jam",,, and when the lights came on,, he was two rows in front of me!!! we obviously have the same taste in music.... anyway,, upon greeting each other, he hugged me,,, in the bathroom... i think everyone else in the bathroom was a little weirded out by it..

well... i should get to work.. i think the boss just walked in the front door...



later...

blah..

i thought i would unleash a few of my latest random thoughts on the world:

1) the other day i was thinking, that I haven't seen a commercial for "jello" in about ten years... and the last time I did see a jello commercial, bill cosby was singing the jello jingle.. as far as i know, jello is still sold at every grocery store i've ever been to.. so,, what's going on????... why did jello all of a sudden decide that they no longer needed to advertise...

my answer: Bill Cosby is the chuck norris of advertising... If you ever get Bill Cosby in your commercial, you'll never have to advertise again..

2) I have a new purpose in life.. a new goal.. the other day i was at the bank, and the teller needed to know my last name.. naturally, i spelled it, because my last name is pretty unique,, and nobody spells it right the first time.. so,, the teller asks, " D as in David?".... this got me thinking.. from now on, everytime i'm in a situation to where i'm going to be spelling a word either over the phone or in person,, i want to try and use the most random or offensive/awkward or just plain weird examples for the letters... I obsessed over this for a few days,, these are what i've come up with so far:

D as in double dragon.. F as in froto.. N as in necrophiliac.. R as in racism.. S as in suicide... B as in Barney Rubble.. G as in Newt Gingrich.... etc.etc.. (i had better ones the other day)..

but then,, i could take it even further,, by hinting at the person's physical/mental/cultural attributes,,,, for example: if the person is asian,, and perhaps the asian person is eating rice,, or using some crazy technological device i haven't even heard of yet,,, i might say S as in stereotype.. or C as as in Cliche...... or if the person is old,, i might say G as in geriatrics,,, or if the person is of ample size in certain areas,, and perhaps showing a little much cleavage,,, i might say "A" as in augmentation.. or maybe,, the person seems a little drab,, i might say P as in pharmaceuticals...


i could go on and on..

anyhow,, here is a link to a blog i read the other day... i thought it was pretty funny... i think we could be friends..

http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendId=18473754&blogId=467426850

this is about you.

in the 1.5 years of blogging that i have under my belt,, i have been asked, on occasion, by several different people, why i don't ever write about them, or why i don't use their name when i do write about them, or why they never get to be my sidekick in any of the action packed blogs.. (the ones where i karate chop people for making my barbeque sandwich wrong)...


well,, i'm going to answer all these questions tonight.

A) I don't write about you, because i'm afraid that you will be offended by what i write. I find it much more amusing to write about the humiliating things that you might have done in our time spent together, rather than just a list of facts that occurred at whatever event/function/anything else that we attended together... so if you are mentioned,, it's probably not going benefit your social status.....

B) I don't mention your name, because i don't want us to be associated together.. you shouldn't want that either.. believe me, it's for your own good.

C) You're never my sidekick, because you never invite me anywhere, obviously.. most people know, that anything and everything in my life, is subject to being written about. i've only allowed myself to be censored a couple of times,, and only because it was for the better of everyone involved. so,, we must not spend enough time together... you should really work on that.

D) maybe i don't write about you, because you're a figment of my imagination.. this applies to you, mr. stinkleberry.. the elderly gentleman that helps me find my toothbrush every morning in the dark.. and you, tony, the martian that lives on my back porch, smoking pot all day, and eating all of my wintergreen altoids... (they're curiously strong).... and yes,, you, ms. dufelgalupanonymy,,, with your extremely long last name,, that obviously came from my own head,, since you're a figment of my imagination then why couldn't i have given you a shorter last name,,, anyway,, with your interesting conversation, keeping me awake on long drives through the desert. i can't write about you, because i would likely end up in a nut house.

E) or how about, i can't write about you, because your girlfriend is slightly intuitive, and would break up with you if she discovered all the horrible things you did on dude's night out.

F) or maybe, i can't write about you, because you don't inspire me.... OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH... that hurts..

G) but, in all actuality,, i probably don't write about you, because my life isn't as exciting as it used to be.. i spend most of my time either in a work truck, on a jobsite, in a class room, on my computer, writing research papers, researching for said research papers, studying, driving to and from eastland, working on my truck, sleeping, or sitting on the toilet.. reading about how a nuclear power plant works.. i literally look forward to using the bathroom, just so i can learn a little more about nuclear fission,, or uranium-238,, and how to control the flow of neutrons in a nuclear combustion chamber..now that's worth writing about..

last week i learned how modems work..


need i say more?

a little more serious.. but necessary.

well... it's late.. i meant to start earlier.. and i had a direction i wanted to go.. but it doesn't like any of that will be happening...

i had just gotten an email from a friend,, and she told me that she had only received three personal emails from me in the last four years... so, naturally,,, i sat out to prove her wrong... i searched for her name in my inbox,, it came back with 68 messages.. granted not all 68 were to and from her,, some of them just mentioned her name in them... while reading some of the older ones,, i stumbled across a few things from my past,, things i had forgotten..

one in particular got me a little choked up.. it was a string of messages back and forth to someone (who shall remain nameless) close to me. It was july of 2006.. i had only been out of jail for just a few months.. and the first few messages were extremely negative on my part. Basically, I didn't think i could do it anymore, I was getting the itch.. the dope game was calling me.. work was too hard. life was too hard. i had nothing. i lived on a couch in my mom's dining room. i was going through a messy break up. probation was breathing down my neck. everyone was just waiting.. waiting to see what i would do. i'm sure quite a few were praying too..


coincidentally, I cussed a lot more in my emails back then.. and i rambled on, jumping from subject to subject.. almost like my blogs are now.. also, my grammar/spelling wasn't as good then.. anyhow,, here's an excerpt from one of those messages:

"but anyways i know everyone worries about me,,, they'll probly never stop.. but i guess they're right too. cuz sometimes i think, like i don't know how long i'm gonna be able to make it.. like when i get in bad moods and stuff i start thinking like why am i even trying.. i know this is not the real me.. an object always returns to it's original state, i'm just having a long run at it.. i don't know maybe not... i need to go to an aa meeting. well anyways i used to tell myself that since i couldn't be a role model that i was doing a good thing.. i was sacrificing myself so that my three younger brothers would see what happens and never touch the shit. i was a fuckin hero. yeah right."


scary stuff, huh?.... i had forgotten about feeling that way. amazing..
then in a later message,, i had recovered a little from whatever horrible thing was clouding my head that day,,, and the recipient had challenged me to be more positive, and asked me what the most important thing in life to me was (suggesting it should be love)... i can tell i was perplexed by the question..


my answer:



"and the most important thing in life to me has changed so many times in the last few years, i don't even know anymore.. i think right now it is just making money and getting on my feet. and not getting arrested. making my dad proud of me for once. and not screwing over the people who love me, cuz they're the easiest targets.. no matter how bad i screw them for money or whatever, they'll always take me back.. i guess really just being a good person is the most important thing to me. earning my love instead of abusing it.. i don't know..."



jeez... i've achieved most if not all of those goals.. my dad tells me he's proud of me all the time.. just the other day he told me he was proud of my credit score.. (he's a banker).... anyhow,, it's nice to take a look back every once in a while,, just to see how things used to be.. i think i've really been taking life for granted lately,, cuz it used to be a LOT harder.. I've got it pretty easy now,,thank god... and i need to remember that.

on similar note,, i feel that i've gotten complacent with a few of the people that love me the most lately.. i forgot how hard it must have been to deal with me just a few years ago.. i've taken for granted the fact that i probably couldn't be here today, without the friends and family i have been blessed with.

so publicly,, i would like to apologize. I'm sorry.

and thank you.. for everything.

jack johnson

sometimes it feels like the heart is no place to be singing from at all.



word.

my television debut

yep,,, there's a slight chance i could be on tv. i'm pretty sure that's a first, except for one time some reporter filmed me and some friends while playing frisbee golf in waco... but we got high and forgot to watch the news, so i'm not sure if we made the cut or not.


anyhow last night, we were at the bishop art district in dallas.... which turned out to be a pretty cool place,,, and all of a sudden a camera crew went running by, all wearing black, and close behind was about 20 people. I was confused,, but somebody shouted "CHEATERS!" and we immediately joined the chase... I pushed my way to the front of the crowd and tried to get the scoop on who did what to whom.. from what i could gather, there was a fat white girl that cheated on her black boyfriend. Anyhow the cheater in question suddenly turned sharply in my direction and stormed off, and naturally the camera man followed, but during his 180 degree and the brief second in which he lost sight of the cheater, he got a camera full of my face. so,, be watching cheaters,, i might be on there. I'm sure i look like a deer in the headlights too, because all the cameras had big flashlights strapped to them and he got me right in the eyes.... i'm sure i had that stupid smile that seems to show up in many of my pictures as well... the one where i lose all control over my face muscles and my grin seems to stretch like apart like an old lady getting her skin tightened..


oh,, and my favorite part of the whole ordeal. at one point both the parties involved walked off,, and the lead man,,, i can't remember his name,, anyway he turned around to his crew and said with conviction, "Cheaters are gone, load up!" oh,, it was great.. i felt like i was in a modern version of the movie Young Guns.... "Regulators, lets ride!"

my shopping list

i'm about to go to walmart,,, so i made a list..

it reads:

razors
toilet paper
A1
shampoo
tea
eggs
loofa


i stared at it for a second trying to think of anything else i might add,,, and then it came to me,, underneath loofa i wrote : winnebago


just in case i drop it and somebody else picks it up and reads it... at first they'll be thinking, "this dude's life is boring" but then they might think,"this dude has ahlseimers"

butt mud

whew.... it's 2:00 pm... i just finished working out and am about to study for my government test tomorrow.. it should be a real doozie... anyhow,, i thought i might just stop by,, being as i haven't written in a while, though i have had several topics floating around my head as of lately....

i went to the muse concert on st. patrick's day... it was pretty sweet.. they have an awesome bass player,, and i had no idea that they were a three piece band.. i always assumed they had a dj and keyboard player doing most of the electronic stuff.. not so... pretty amazing...

anyhow, going to work the next day was a tough feat..... i was extremely tired... at one point I bent over to pop a chalk line on the floor. I felt a draft,,, ensuring me that my plumber butt was making it's grand appearance,,,,, at full throttle.... i was too tired and cared to little to do anything about it though... which turned out to be a mistake.... after we popped the chalk line,, i leaned back against the wall,, because i was too lazy to just stand straight up without the wall's help... I had failed to notice that the dry wall guys had just taped and bedded the seam between two pieces of sheet rock directly behind me,, and the dry wall mud was still wet.....

immediately i felt something cold and soft on my lower back and upper butt crack.... excited and embarrassed,, my first reaction was to pull my pants up... wrong move... all the mud that was on my back had now been smashed beneath my underwear and even farther down my crack....

my coworkers were amused to say the least... to compound my situation,, the only restroom available for us lowly construction workers lied 39 floors down,,,, at the loading dock... so i had to wait 10 minutes for the freight elevator to slowly make it's way to my elevation and then ride it all the way down... trying to move as little as possible,,, because every step held a small moment of embarrassment and that weird shrill feeling you get when something cold touches you,,, or you see something gross and painful and a shiver goes through your whole body for a split second.... that's what i felt.... every move..


just thought everyone would like to know that

charles bukowski, and "into the wild"

I'm enamored by the fact that occasionally in this life, you just stumble across something, that makes perfect sense.

lately i had heard of a writer named charles bukowski. i went to half price books and bought what i thought was one of his novels. upon cracking it open for the first time, i discovered that it was a book titled "charles bukowski" written by barry miles. oh well.. i read it anyway. biographies have always been my favorite books anyway. since then i've read several of his novels, and a few of his poems.

his biography tells of how he traveled around city to city in his early twenties, living in ratholes and surviving on nearly nothing. all the while writing every chance he got and selling his poems to whomever would publish them, occasionally doing some manual labor. in 1946 one of his short stories was published in a book produced by Black Sun Press, owned by a Mrs. Caresse Crosby and her husband Harry. They sent bukowski a letter stating that his story was,

"a most unusual and wonderful story,," and inquiring, "who ARE you?"

bukowski replied in letter with the best answer i think he could have given. I would have been proud to have thought of it myself,

"Dear Mrs. Caresse: I don't know who I am, Sincerely yours, Charles Bukowski



that single line is the best poem i've ever laid eyes on.



In other news, I was walking through the video store the other day, judging each movie by the artwork on it's cover. i saw a movie called "into the wild".. i picked it up and stared at it a while.. the picture was of a boy sitting on top of an old hippie bus... on top of a mountain. i stared for a while, and i felt a strong connection to the movie.. but i didn't rent it. three days later i went back to return the movie i did get (this is spinal tap) and i went back around the aisle until i found "into the wild" again.. this time i did rent it... It was awesome. i totally related.. made me want to drop everything and burn off into the world..

everyone should rent it. actually,, maybe a lot of people wouldn't like it.. but i thought it was perfect.. and two of my favorite people even had cameos in it: vince vaughn and zack galifinakis (spelling?)

anyhow,, both of which was introduced to me via accident (or was it), and proved to be worthwhile...


good night.

If my name were Jerry Seinfeld

So What's the deal with the gift registries? Everyone's got a gift registry! What if I wanna buy you something that you don't even know that you need. What then?

I was walking around wal-mart today, trying to find a copy of my favorite movie, and there was a little gift registry computer by the jewelry section. Who wants to entice people to buy their gifts from Wal-Mart?? seriously....what's next? Auto Zone? Your Local Drug Store?

Also, what constitutes the need to sign up for a registry? you know what, screw it... I'm signing up for one.. tomorrow.. you can find me registered at Half Price Books. and on the "summit racing" website. oh,, and ESPECIALLY guitar center.. actually don't even worry about finding me in the registry at guitar center,, just buy anything,, anything in the store,, and then give it to me.. I promise I won't complain.

You know what,, on second thought,, let's save us both some time.. I won't even bother registering anywhere. YOU just feel free to buy me anything, anytime, anywhere. and I'm cool with it. and if you're still worried about disappointing me, provide a receipt.. I'll handle it.

over and out.

Roger the Koger

I talked to Roger the Koger tonight.. he always has encouraging words. for any of you that have no clue whom I'm speaking of, he's a good friend of mine, a mentor, an advisor, that i met in jail. He's extremely intimidating, yet insightful and full of love. His lower arms showcase the amount of time that he's spent in the prison systems of california and texas... in his eyes, the two greatest states... His huge collection of Hells Angels Memorabilia represents the amount of respect and trust that other outlaw bikers place in him, and his stories will live forever in me, as they never failed to offer an escape from reality, while living in a place designed to force you into it... of my favorites are the ones about "fire camp"... while in a california prison he was selected to go live in a mountain-side campsite and fight forest fires with only axes and shovels.... he later got out of prison and became a fireman, and then several years later dropped everything and moved to texas for a girl he met.. that's just the tip of the iceberg.....

We lived in a tank with 68 other felons, and he is the only one I have managed to keep in touch with.

anyhow, on with the story. He called me while I was driving home from class earlier. It seems he's always drunk when we speak... so he repeats himself a lot.. i don't mind. This time he kept telling me, "You're a youngster, and you got a good head on your shoulders.. you're gonna make it. you're goin places I've never seen." I would usually inject something to the effect that i agree... (we were speaking of my taking night classes, and that I was thinking of going into engineering)

then he would say, "You're gonna make it... if you ever think you can't.. you just call me.. I'll come down there... I'll come down there with a couple home boys,,, and talk to your professors... we'll make sure your grades improve.. I promise"..

"I can do that you know,,, I can... and I would"...

and I would say that I knew he would... and he would.. not that i think it would work.. but he would do it....

then he would go on about, "Ryan, you're a brother.. I'd stand back to back with you and fight off any enemy, any day.."... I'm sure he would.. but he knows I'm not a fighter... maybe that's why he says it.

then he would talk about how, "We're gonna ride again!! you'll get another bike.. if not,, I'll find you one.. you just come down here this summer and we'll ride!!"

actually, he picked out my last bike.. he found it, and took me to look at it. There was another bike next to that one that I was looking at,, but he told me, "that bike's nice,, but you'll get more tail with this one." he was right.. that's how much i trust his judgement.

anyway,, there wasn't any real point to this blog.. just that I talked to an old friend.... and even though a lot of what comes out of his mouth is drunken babble, or outdated prison slang, or california dreamers talk, there is always a deeper message.. if you listen for it..

tonight's message: no matter how different I am now from when we met, or how detached I have become from them, a friend is a friend, and sometimes a friend is all you need.

I wonder if talking to Roger is as benificial for him as it is for me?????

condiments

hello there,, it's been a record setting weekend around here.. twelve inches of snow in dallas.. forty nine states with snow at the same time.. all on the weekend that i'm moving apartments.. for the first time in my life i had to shovel snow. for two hours! anyway,, it's done..

i was developing my profile earlier, and one of the boxes was labeled "interests",, so in my usual fashion, i spouted off the first seven things that popped in my head and might vaguely describe what i'm interested in... or i think would be funny to put in my interests box... one of which was the word "condiments"... some of you know already, that i'm a condiment man.. i love condiments.. am I "interested" in condiments??? i wouldn't go that far,, anyhow while reviewing my newly edited profile, i noticed that all the words i typed had been posted as links, i clicked to see what i would be directed to.. it was a list of all the other bloggers that had listed that same interest!! how exciting.. so,, most of my random interests yielded no potential companion bloggers,, all but one,,,, CONDIMENTS! who knew.. i'm no longer alone in this world... there is a shitload of people out there writing blogs about condiments. unless condiments has become some weird slang word used in context to politics, or gay relations (to be polite),,, two things which i know nothing about... pick almost any other subject under the sun and i'll have a world class debate with you about it.. peace.

how's that for summarizing?

i'm taking a break.. for the last hour i've been trying to fabricate two short stories for a writing job i'm applying for (which sounded easy at first).. i thought it would be fun to at least send some samples in.. but now i'm exhausted.. my head hurts.. and i now realize that i am in-able to write in third person.. or not in-able.. but everything sounds cheesy when i write like that... anyway,, i'm about halfway through the first sample now..


I got a text message today:

typically when a person starts a new blog, said person posts shit on it...
come on slacker.

well here it is. soak it in.



maybe i'll tell a story..

maybe not.. i wrote the story out and didn't like it... so i'll summarize..

i was driving my motorcycle home one day.. and this girl was parked on the side of the road. i stopped to see if she was broke down but she wasn't.. she said that she was on her way to north carolina (i think).. and when i asked where she was coming from, she said california... in my head i was thinking,, "you didn't need to drive through texas"... but i didn't say anything.. also it was peculiar that she was out on this country road in between gorman and lake leon.. anyhow, she said everything was alright that she was just resting for a minute, so i was about to be on my way,, but she asked if i would take her for a ride. so,,,,, i did... she said she loved to ride. mind you,, i'm about eighteen.. i don't know how to talk to girls.. especially not hippie chicks from california.. i have no sisters.. all of my relationships up to this point had ended horribly... actually that still holds true today.. anyhow i was a little nervous.. she got on and i started down the road.. at about forty miles an hour she said i was going to fast and she was scared... she had obviously lied about liking motorcycles.. or she was on acid.. as that crossed my mind,, i began to remember a movie we watched in science class that said acid could be absorbed through human skin,, i became frightened that i would suddenly and unwantingly become high on lsd.... i should note,, that the only drugs i had ingested in my eighteen years was hydrocodon (which i loved) and weed,, which i could live without... anyhow the girl was beginning to really worry me.. she wasn't good at riding.. she kept fighting me in the corners.. and my unconcious mind was playing tricks,,, i kept checking for signs of what i had believed would constitute "tripping".... it was a real wreck of a time.. anyhow,,, i got her back to the station wagon and hurriedly said i had to get home... she asked if i wanted to join her on the trip to tennessee or wherever the hell she was going.. and i said no,,, i didn't want to go to tennesee.. she asked me where i would want to go.. i was really getting nervous now.. I said "nowhere",, and that i just wanted to go home.. i started the bike and sped off. shortly after i noticed a station wagon in my mirror.. smartly,, i passed the turn to my house,, thinking that i didn't want her knowing where i lived.. also i could just see the following conversation with my mom.. so i was going to find a place to turn and then double back and go home... but she was gaining on me.. my stupid bike only went sixty and her station wagon obviously had more umph than that... i cursed aloud.. i decided to beat her on the turn around.. i quickly stoped and pulled a one foot direct turn around in the middle of the road,, there was no way she could turn that boat around and head the opposite direction as i did.. as i passed her she shot me the peace sign out the window and her brake lights came on.... i had that little bike wound out as fast as it would go.. i dove off on my road and didn't let up until i got home,, and then i drove all the way around to the back yard and parked in the tool shed.. i waited a few minutes to see if she had seen me turn,, but she never appeared.. i never saw her again.. what a relief..


now,, over the past seven years or so since "the incident",, it's come to mind on occasion,, and i've always wondered how i might have handled it differently,, had it occurred in different phases of my life.. for example,, just a year later,, i probably would have tried to sell her some coke.. a year after that i might have jumped in the station wagon and sailed that boat all the way around the U.S... a couple years after that i might have tried to seduce her,, maybe another time around i would have jew'ed her for all the drugs she had in the car,, and probably any cash too,, under the false pretenses that i could get us more drugs,, but eventually left her high and dry on the side of the ditch while i sit on a dirt road a couple miles from the dope house dumping out the contents of capsule form vitamins so that i might fill them with meth and later take them at my discretion without the fear of being caught.. one of my old favorite past-times.. or perhaps a different me might have invited her to an AA meeting,, or insisted that jesus loves her.. high or not.. tennessee or not.. another me might have just kept riding.. and avoided the whole situation all together..

today??? i don't know.. i think today,, there would be no f'in way i'd be on a motorcycle in the first place.. i hate cold weather,, and i especially hate riding in cold weather,, although i've been forced to do it several times... but now that i think about it,, i don't have much tolerance for hippies anymore.


be glad i didn't write the long form..

just because

here's a copy of the original description i had written for this page... they didn't specify that it could only be five hundred characters... so i had to do some cutting.. to make it worse,, there wasn't even a little counter at the bottom so that i would know how much i needed to lose... anyway,, i'm not very happy with the result,, so i thought i would give you a little taste of the original before i change it all up...



description? i guess if it must be put into words,, it would go like this:

a series of conflicts of interest between a single man's belief systems, dreams, bodily limitations, mental capacity, carnal temptation, ambition to succeed at anything and everything,,, and physical/psychological motivation..... compounded by years of physically, mentally, and socially harmful behavior, self-neglect and unchecked reality... add to that several more years of ultimately "cleaner" living but swayed by a cholesterol overloaded diet and no regard for chronemics (i just learned that word) or the circulatory system.... more recently though,, there's been a new outlook on life,, and music for that matter,, a new address, a new job, a new hair cut,, and even a new pair of work boots.. and to top it all off,, a new blog.. what more can one 25 yr old construction worker/musician/student/know it all,, ask for? how about a way out.

wheelin' and dealin'

well, well, well....

i've been coerced into swapping my new blogspot in for an even newer,, and slightly more socially acceptable,, blogspot.. for the small one time fee of one hundred dollars...

does that make me a sell out???? i think yes..... but in my defense,, i've noticed that fewer people are dishing out that popular phrase lately,, in these times of economic hardship.. so.. when you get right down to it,, everyone's a sell out to some extent..

move over metallica, i'm coming home.


anyway, on to business.. tonight i weathered the storm of the year in order to purchase a bike (bicycle,, of the pedal variety) that i had found on craig's list..

http://dallas.craigslist.org/ndf/bik/1575056177.html

i've been trying to be creative with my methods of exercise lately,, being that i hate running.

anyway,, it took forever to get there because of the storm.. and there was a lot of traffic.. i wasn't having a very good time.. the radio was playing shitty songs.. and i had a bunch of old cd's in the changer.. so over to the AM station i went...

(lately i've taken interest in AM,, due to my current rebellion against popular music,, and morning radio.....also there's all kinds of information to be had on AM airwaves).... anyhow..

there was a dj talking about the current recall on toyota vehicles,, which is of interest to me, being that i drive a toyota.. the dj then played a real 911 call, in which the caller was currently driving a vehicle with a jammed gas pedal.. he was screaming into the phone that he was going 120 mph,, and he couldn't stop.. the 911 operator calmly asked if he could turn off the vehicle, or push the brakes.. the driver began to say repeatedly that he was nearing an intersection and the brakes weren't slowing him down... you could hear the panic of everyone else in the car as well... then all at once you could hear everyone gasp for air just before you heard a violent impact... and that was it... The dj went on to say that four people died in the accident...

I had just heard 4 people take their last breath......

i sat in silence for a few minutes,, thinking about their situation..... then, in an act of defiance i smashed my accelerator to the floor... mind you,, it's raining.. hard.. and i'm on the interstate.. passing everyone,, who happen to be constantly throwing water on my windshield (which had really been pissing me off for about the last hour)..... i gain speed to about eighty five... (everyone else was driving about fifty five)..... then,, i calmly reached down and twist my key to the left... still in gear.. still on the accelerator... and what happens???????

THE FUCKIN TRUCK TURNED OFF!!!!!!!!!!

4 PEOPLE HAVE JUST DIED BECAUSE SOME IDIOT DIDN'T KNOW HOW HIS CAR'S IGNITION SYSTEM WORKED!!!!!!!!!!!

jeez........... although, the dj didn't specify,, i'm sure that it must have been some tree huggin, gay marrying, liberal, from california.... and granted,,, they were probably on their way to some political meeting to discuss the advantages of socialism, and dream up more methods in which they can complicate gun rights,, or gun control.... so that i'll continue to get at least 40 chain emails a week,,,,generated in some form or fashion by the NRA and then passed on through every god fearin', gun lovin', meat eatin', and ted nugent listenin' redneck in this country.......

but even so..

they didn't deserve to die...

man,,, i guess that was really eating at me more than i thought... i had originally started this blog just to tell you this:

i went to the dude's house,, and bought the dr. pepper bike,,, AND talked him into throwing in the green weight bench that's in the background of the picture, plus all the weights for FREE!!!

man, i feel good about myself...

i'll feel even better once i ride that bike and pump some iron,, knowing,, that i spent 100 dollars plus about 10 bucks in gas to gain several valuable pieces of workout equipment, and one sweet life lesson......

if all else fails,, turn it off.