a little of the old, in out, in out....

never thought i would use a clock work orange reference... interesting...


anyhow,, a few short notes here,,, I recently watched a documentary about the life of Hunter S. Thompson, entitled "Gonzo",,,,, and was TOTALLY INSPIRED BY IT!!!!!!!!

dude was awesome,, i've already begun sporting my aviators indoors,, to pay respects to a man, whose talent i somehow failed to acknowledge while still alive.. shame isn't it...

i have a vision of myself this summer,, seeking out all of his work that i can get my hands on and totally obsessing over the whole matter... i can't wait.... in the mean time, i stumbled across a fellow vonnegut fan, who coincidentally owned several of his books that i haven't read yet,,so i borrowed one and went on my merry way.... got my first book of the summer... score.

I had been looking forward to my summer readings for a while now,, text books get pretty boring...

in other news,,, my brother and his girlfriend are at the hospital right now,, having their baby... well,, not yet.. i don't understand everything that's going on,, but they're at the hospital.. and she's having contractions,,, and before you start calling me an asshole,, i DID go up there... but they said it would probably be 1 AM before the whole birthing process begins,, and i have to work tomorrow,,, so,,, i'll go tomorrow.

anyhow,, i'm sitting here in my house.. apartment,, if you wanna be a dick about it.... i'm sitting here,, all alone.. peace and quiet.. on my recliner.. britt's recliner rather,,, (he got all the cool shit when mom moved),,, there's nothing on, no tv, no radio, just the gentle soothing sounds of the a/c running.. and a slight hum coming from the fluorescent light in kitchen.. and the compressor running in the refrigerator.. but other than that stuff, nothing at all,, weird,,, how i would never notice any of those things otherwise...

so, i'm sitting here,, not doing anything,, except writing this blog, of course, (is ofcourse one or two words?)(jeez, i'm losing my mind), and relaxing in this moment of complete stillness,, because i know,, without a doubt,, that this will be the last moment of it's kind,,,, for a while,,,, at least in my own house... starting tomorrow,, there's going to be a baby here,, i'm going to be an uncle,, my brother is going to be a dad. (those words felt very heavy to me.. seemed as if i slammed the keyboard with slightly more energy while typing them,, i had to force my way through it..) britt, is a dad.... amazing.

i'm talking about the guy that once blew a french fry out of his nose while we were jumping on the trampoline... (we spent years of our life on that thing) the guy, that i used to fist fight every morning while waiting for the bus. the guy that watched saved by the bell and star trek with me every day after school,, and the ninja turtles every saturday,, and would watch karate movies with me all day long, only to go outside and kick each others asses with all the sweet moves we just learned, immediately afterwards... in fact,, i remember the day that we got our first computer in the house and had the internet (dial up!) installed.. i think i was about 13 and he was 12.. they got us to a search engine and asked what we wanted to look up,, his answer: Steven Seagal,, he really loved that dude... the first thing he ever researched on this world wide web, that we'd heard so much about, but didn't at all understand,,, was steven seagal.

the guy, that has gone through this life with me,, every step of the way,, we're so close in age, that i don't ever remember a time when he wasn't there.. we might as well be the same age as far as i'm concerned.. for 25 years, now,, i've seen him nearly every day.. there were only a couple of periods in this lifetime that we didn't live in the same house, or at least the same town, or even work at the same place. albeit,, i've taken it for granted,, and we've despised the sight of each other at times,, and said some awful things,,,and i once threw a rake at him, and also poked him right in the eye with a pool stick,, actually that was pretty awesome,, he even had blue chalk on his eyeball (good aim, huh?).... but he forgave me for all that..

also,, to be a little more serious,, the guy, that never really had a dad... is going to be a dad.. and i'm sure he'll be a damned good one at that.

**(so there,, (britt),(and nikki), i said it,, all,,,, don't expect anything else out of me..)**




so, to sum it up.,, for the next week,, my house is going to full of people,, my mother,, nikki's (my brother's lady friend)(the pregnant one)'s mother, as well as her grandmother are already here,, and there's plenty more coming.. my house will not be my home for the next week or so. i suppose the situation will be better after a few weeks, when everything calms down, and the people leave,,, but my living situation here will never be quite as it were... no recovery in sight... my ever so comfortable life style will soon be devastated...



starting tomorrow.


good night everyone.