this is about you.

in the 1.5 years of blogging that i have under my belt,, i have been asked, on occasion, by several different people, why i don't ever write about them, or why i don't use their name when i do write about them, or why they never get to be my sidekick in any of the action packed blogs.. (the ones where i karate chop people for making my barbeque sandwich wrong)...


well,, i'm going to answer all these questions tonight.

A) I don't write about you, because i'm afraid that you will be offended by what i write. I find it much more amusing to write about the humiliating things that you might have done in our time spent together, rather than just a list of facts that occurred at whatever event/function/anything else that we attended together... so if you are mentioned,, it's probably not going benefit your social status.....

B) I don't mention your name, because i don't want us to be associated together.. you shouldn't want that either.. believe me, it's for your own good.

C) You're never my sidekick, because you never invite me anywhere, obviously.. most people know, that anything and everything in my life, is subject to being written about. i've only allowed myself to be censored a couple of times,, and only because it was for the better of everyone involved. so,, we must not spend enough time together... you should really work on that.

D) maybe i don't write about you, because you're a figment of my imagination.. this applies to you, mr. stinkleberry.. the elderly gentleman that helps me find my toothbrush every morning in the dark.. and you, tony, the martian that lives on my back porch, smoking pot all day, and eating all of my wintergreen altoids... (they're curiously strong).... and yes,, you, ms. dufelgalupanonymy,,, with your extremely long last name,, that obviously came from my own head,, since you're a figment of my imagination then why couldn't i have given you a shorter last name,,, anyway,, with your interesting conversation, keeping me awake on long drives through the desert. i can't write about you, because i would likely end up in a nut house.

E) or how about, i can't write about you, because your girlfriend is slightly intuitive, and would break up with you if she discovered all the horrible things you did on dude's night out.

F) or maybe, i can't write about you, because you don't inspire me.... OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH... that hurts..

G) but, in all actuality,, i probably don't write about you, because my life isn't as exciting as it used to be.. i spend most of my time either in a work truck, on a jobsite, in a class room, on my computer, writing research papers, researching for said research papers, studying, driving to and from eastland, working on my truck, sleeping, or sitting on the toilet.. reading about how a nuclear power plant works.. i literally look forward to using the bathroom, just so i can learn a little more about nuclear fission,, or uranium-238,, and how to control the flow of neutrons in a nuclear combustion chamber..now that's worth writing about..

last week i learned how modems work..


need i say more?