i thought i would unleash a few of my latest random thoughts on the world:
1) the other day i was thinking, that I haven't seen a commercial for "jello" in about ten years... and the last time I did see a jello commercial, bill cosby was singing the jello jingle.. as far as i know, jello is still sold at every grocery store i've ever been to.. so,, what's going on????... why did jello all of a sudden decide that they no longer needed to advertise...
my answer: Bill Cosby is the chuck norris of advertising... If you ever get Bill Cosby in your commercial, you'll never have to advertise again..
2) I have a new purpose in life.. a new goal.. the other day i was at the bank, and the teller needed to know my last name.. naturally, i spelled it, because my last name is pretty unique,, and nobody spells it right the first time.. so,, the teller asks, " D as in David?".... this got me thinking.. from now on, everytime i'm in a situation to where i'm going to be spelling a word either over the phone or in person,, i want to try and use the most random or offensive/awkward or just plain weird examples for the letters... I obsessed over this for a few days,, these are what i've come up with so far:
D as in double dragon.. F as in froto.. N as in necrophiliac.. R as in racism.. S as in suicide... B as in Barney Rubble.. G as in Newt Gingrich.... etc.etc.. (i had better ones the other day)..
but then,, i could take it even further,, by hinting at the person's physical/mental/cultural attributes,,,, for example: if the person is asian,, and perhaps the asian person is eating rice,, or using some crazy technological device i haven't even heard of yet,,, i might say S as in stereotype.. or C as as in Cliche...... or if the person is old,, i might say G as in geriatrics,,, or if the person is of ample size in certain areas,, and perhaps showing a little much cleavage,,, i might say "A" as in augmentation.. or maybe,, the person seems a little drab,, i might say P as in pharmaceuticals...
i could go on and on..
anyhow,, here is a link to a blog i read the other day... i thought it was pretty funny... i think we could be friends..
http://blogs.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendId=18473754&blogId=467426850
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
this is about you.
in the 1.5 years of blogging that i have under my belt,, i have been asked, on occasion, by several different people, why i don't ever write about them, or why i don't use their name when i do write about them, or why they never get to be my sidekick in any of the action packed blogs.. (the ones where i karate chop people for making my barbeque sandwich wrong)...
well,, i'm going to answer all these questions tonight.
A) I don't write about you, because i'm afraid that you will be offended by what i write. I find it much more amusing to write about the humiliating things that you might have done in our time spent together, rather than just a list of facts that occurred at whatever event/function/anything else that we attended together... so if you are mentioned,, it's probably not going benefit your social status.....
B) I don't mention your name, because i don't want us to be associated together.. you shouldn't want that either.. believe me, it's for your own good.
C) You're never my sidekick, because you never invite me anywhere, obviously.. most people know, that anything and everything in my life, is subject to being written about. i've only allowed myself to be censored a couple of times,, and only because it was for the better of everyone involved. so,, we must not spend enough time together... you should really work on that.
D) maybe i don't write about you, because you're a figment of my imagination.. this applies to you, mr. stinkleberry.. the elderly gentleman that helps me find my toothbrush every morning in the dark.. and you, tony, the martian that lives on my back porch, smoking pot all day, and eating all of my wintergreen altoids... (they're curiously strong).... and yes,, you, ms. dufelgalupanonymy,,, with your extremely long last name,, that obviously came from my own head,, since you're a figment of my imagination then why couldn't i have given you a shorter last name,,, anyway,, with your interesting conversation, keeping me awake on long drives through the desert. i can't write about you, because i would likely end up in a nut house.
E) or how about, i can't write about you, because your girlfriend is slightly intuitive, and would break up with you if she discovered all the horrible things you did on dude's night out.
F) or maybe, i can't write about you, because you don't inspire me.... OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH... that hurts..
G) but, in all actuality,, i probably don't write about you, because my life isn't as exciting as it used to be.. i spend most of my time either in a work truck, on a jobsite, in a class room, on my computer, writing research papers, researching for said research papers, studying, driving to and from eastland, working on my truck, sleeping, or sitting on the toilet.. reading about how a nuclear power plant works.. i literally look forward to using the bathroom, just so i can learn a little more about nuclear fission,, or uranium-238,, and how to control the flow of neutrons in a nuclear combustion chamber..now that's worth writing about..
last week i learned how modems work..
need i say more?
well,, i'm going to answer all these questions tonight.
A) I don't write about you, because i'm afraid that you will be offended by what i write. I find it much more amusing to write about the humiliating things that you might have done in our time spent together, rather than just a list of facts that occurred at whatever event/function/anything else that we attended together... so if you are mentioned,, it's probably not going benefit your social status.....
B) I don't mention your name, because i don't want us to be associated together.. you shouldn't want that either.. believe me, it's for your own good.
C) You're never my sidekick, because you never invite me anywhere, obviously.. most people know, that anything and everything in my life, is subject to being written about. i've only allowed myself to be censored a couple of times,, and only because it was for the better of everyone involved. so,, we must not spend enough time together... you should really work on that.
D) maybe i don't write about you, because you're a figment of my imagination.. this applies to you, mr. stinkleberry.. the elderly gentleman that helps me find my toothbrush every morning in the dark.. and you, tony, the martian that lives on my back porch, smoking pot all day, and eating all of my wintergreen altoids... (they're curiously strong).... and yes,, you, ms. dufelgalupanonymy,,, with your extremely long last name,, that obviously came from my own head,, since you're a figment of my imagination then why couldn't i have given you a shorter last name,,, anyway,, with your interesting conversation, keeping me awake on long drives through the desert. i can't write about you, because i would likely end up in a nut house.
E) or how about, i can't write about you, because your girlfriend is slightly intuitive, and would break up with you if she discovered all the horrible things you did on dude's night out.
F) or maybe, i can't write about you, because you don't inspire me.... OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHH... that hurts..
G) but, in all actuality,, i probably don't write about you, because my life isn't as exciting as it used to be.. i spend most of my time either in a work truck, on a jobsite, in a class room, on my computer, writing research papers, researching for said research papers, studying, driving to and from eastland, working on my truck, sleeping, or sitting on the toilet.. reading about how a nuclear power plant works.. i literally look forward to using the bathroom, just so i can learn a little more about nuclear fission,, or uranium-238,, and how to control the flow of neutrons in a nuclear combustion chamber..now that's worth writing about..
last week i learned how modems work..
need i say more?
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
a little more serious.. but necessary.
well... it's late.. i meant to start earlier.. and i had a direction i wanted to go.. but it doesn't like any of that will be happening...
i had just gotten an email from a friend,, and she told me that she had only received three personal emails from me in the last four years... so, naturally,,, i sat out to prove her wrong... i searched for her name in my inbox,, it came back with 68 messages.. granted not all 68 were to and from her,, some of them just mentioned her name in them... while reading some of the older ones,, i stumbled across a few things from my past,, things i had forgotten..
one in particular got me a little choked up.. it was a string of messages back and forth to someone (who shall remain nameless) close to me. It was july of 2006.. i had only been out of jail for just a few months.. and the first few messages were extremely negative on my part. Basically, I didn't think i could do it anymore, I was getting the itch.. the dope game was calling me.. work was too hard. life was too hard. i had nothing. i lived on a couch in my mom's dining room. i was going through a messy break up. probation was breathing down my neck. everyone was just waiting.. waiting to see what i would do. i'm sure quite a few were praying too..
coincidentally, I cussed a lot more in my emails back then.. and i rambled on, jumping from subject to subject.. almost like my blogs are now.. also, my grammar/spelling wasn't as good then.. anyhow,, here's an excerpt from one of those messages:
"but anyways i know everyone worries about me,,, they'll probly never stop.. but i guess they're right too. cuz sometimes i think, like i don't know how long i'm gonna be able to make it.. like when i get in bad moods and stuff i start thinking like why am i even trying.. i know this is not the real me.. an object always returns to it's original state, i'm just having a long run at it.. i don't know maybe not... i need to go to an aa meeting. well anyways i used to tell myself that since i couldn't be a role model that i was doing a good thing.. i was sacrificing myself so that my three younger brothers would see what happens and never touch the shit. i was a fuckin hero. yeah right."
scary stuff, huh?.... i had forgotten about feeling that way. amazing..
then in a later message,, i had recovered a little from whatever horrible thing was clouding my head that day,,, and the recipient had challenged me to be more positive, and asked me what the most important thing in life to me was (suggesting it should be love)... i can tell i was perplexed by the question..
my answer:
"and the most important thing in life to me has changed so many times in the last few years, i don't even know anymore.. i think right now it is just making money and getting on my feet. and not getting arrested. making my dad proud of me for once. and not screwing over the people who love me, cuz they're the easiest targets.. no matter how bad i screw them for money or whatever, they'll always take me back.. i guess really just being a good person is the most important thing to me. earning my love instead of abusing it.. i don't know..."
jeez... i've achieved most if not all of those goals.. my dad tells me he's proud of me all the time.. just the other day he told me he was proud of my credit score.. (he's a banker).... anyhow,, it's nice to take a look back every once in a while,, just to see how things used to be.. i think i've really been taking life for granted lately,, cuz it used to be a LOT harder.. I've got it pretty easy now,,thank god... and i need to remember that.
on similar note,, i feel that i've gotten complacent with a few of the people that love me the most lately.. i forgot how hard it must have been to deal with me just a few years ago.. i've taken for granted the fact that i probably couldn't be here today, without the friends and family i have been blessed with.
so publicly,, i would like to apologize. I'm sorry.
and thank you.. for everything.
i had just gotten an email from a friend,, and she told me that she had only received three personal emails from me in the last four years... so, naturally,,, i sat out to prove her wrong... i searched for her name in my inbox,, it came back with 68 messages.. granted not all 68 were to and from her,, some of them just mentioned her name in them... while reading some of the older ones,, i stumbled across a few things from my past,, things i had forgotten..
one in particular got me a little choked up.. it was a string of messages back and forth to someone (who shall remain nameless) close to me. It was july of 2006.. i had only been out of jail for just a few months.. and the first few messages were extremely negative on my part. Basically, I didn't think i could do it anymore, I was getting the itch.. the dope game was calling me.. work was too hard. life was too hard. i had nothing. i lived on a couch in my mom's dining room. i was going through a messy break up. probation was breathing down my neck. everyone was just waiting.. waiting to see what i would do. i'm sure quite a few were praying too..
coincidentally, I cussed a lot more in my emails back then.. and i rambled on, jumping from subject to subject.. almost like my blogs are now.. also, my grammar/spelling wasn't as good then.. anyhow,, here's an excerpt from one of those messages:
"but anyways i know everyone worries about me,,, they'll probly never stop.. but i guess they're right too. cuz sometimes i think, like i don't know how long i'm gonna be able to make it.. like when i get in bad moods and stuff i start thinking like why am i even trying.. i know this is not the real me.. an object always returns to it's original state, i'm just having a long run at it.. i don't know maybe not... i need to go to an aa meeting. well anyways i used to tell myself that since i couldn't be a role model that i was doing a good thing.. i was sacrificing myself so that my three younger brothers would see what happens and never touch the shit. i was a fuckin hero. yeah right."
scary stuff, huh?.... i had forgotten about feeling that way. amazing..
then in a later message,, i had recovered a little from whatever horrible thing was clouding my head that day,,, and the recipient had challenged me to be more positive, and asked me what the most important thing in life to me was (suggesting it should be love)... i can tell i was perplexed by the question..
my answer:
"and the most important thing in life to me has changed so many times in the last few years, i don't even know anymore.. i think right now it is just making money and getting on my feet. and not getting arrested. making my dad proud of me for once. and not screwing over the people who love me, cuz they're the easiest targets.. no matter how bad i screw them for money or whatever, they'll always take me back.. i guess really just being a good person is the most important thing to me. earning my love instead of abusing it.. i don't know..."
jeez... i've achieved most if not all of those goals.. my dad tells me he's proud of me all the time.. just the other day he told me he was proud of my credit score.. (he's a banker).... anyhow,, it's nice to take a look back every once in a while,, just to see how things used to be.. i think i've really been taking life for granted lately,, cuz it used to be a LOT harder.. I've got it pretty easy now,,thank god... and i need to remember that.
on similar note,, i feel that i've gotten complacent with a few of the people that love me the most lately.. i forgot how hard it must have been to deal with me just a few years ago.. i've taken for granted the fact that i probably couldn't be here today, without the friends and family i have been blessed with.
so publicly,, i would like to apologize. I'm sorry.
and thank you.. for everything.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Friday, April 2, 2010
my television debut
yep,,, there's a slight chance i could be on tv. i'm pretty sure that's a first, except for one time some reporter filmed me and some friends while playing frisbee golf in waco... but we got high and forgot to watch the news, so i'm not sure if we made the cut or not.
anyhow last night, we were at the bishop art district in dallas.... which turned out to be a pretty cool place,,, and all of a sudden a camera crew went running by, all wearing black, and close behind was about 20 people. I was confused,, but somebody shouted "CHEATERS!" and we immediately joined the chase... I pushed my way to the front of the crowd and tried to get the scoop on who did what to whom.. from what i could gather, there was a fat white girl that cheated on her black boyfriend. Anyhow the cheater in question suddenly turned sharply in my direction and stormed off, and naturally the camera man followed, but during his 180 degree and the brief second in which he lost sight of the cheater, he got a camera full of my face. so,, be watching cheaters,, i might be on there. I'm sure i look like a deer in the headlights too, because all the cameras had big flashlights strapped to them and he got me right in the eyes.... i'm sure i had that stupid smile that seems to show up in many of my pictures as well... the one where i lose all control over my face muscles and my grin seems to stretch like apart like an old lady getting her skin tightened..
oh,, and my favorite part of the whole ordeal. at one point both the parties involved walked off,, and the lead man,,, i can't remember his name,, anyway he turned around to his crew and said with conviction, "Cheaters are gone, load up!" oh,, it was great.. i felt like i was in a modern version of the movie Young Guns.... "Regulators, lets ride!"
anyhow last night, we were at the bishop art district in dallas.... which turned out to be a pretty cool place,,, and all of a sudden a camera crew went running by, all wearing black, and close behind was about 20 people. I was confused,, but somebody shouted "CHEATERS!" and we immediately joined the chase... I pushed my way to the front of the crowd and tried to get the scoop on who did what to whom.. from what i could gather, there was a fat white girl that cheated on her black boyfriend. Anyhow the cheater in question suddenly turned sharply in my direction and stormed off, and naturally the camera man followed, but during his 180 degree and the brief second in which he lost sight of the cheater, he got a camera full of my face. so,, be watching cheaters,, i might be on there. I'm sure i look like a deer in the headlights too, because all the cameras had big flashlights strapped to them and he got me right in the eyes.... i'm sure i had that stupid smile that seems to show up in many of my pictures as well... the one where i lose all control over my face muscles and my grin seems to stretch like apart like an old lady getting her skin tightened..
oh,, and my favorite part of the whole ordeal. at one point both the parties involved walked off,, and the lead man,,, i can't remember his name,, anyway he turned around to his crew and said with conviction, "Cheaters are gone, load up!" oh,, it was great.. i felt like i was in a modern version of the movie Young Guns.... "Regulators, lets ride!"
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